Cambodia

Hanoi
Originally uploaded by An Smith.

Apparently there are two paved roads in the entire country, only 10% of the population has access to electricity, the brand spanking shiny new SUV's you see everywhere are thanks to the Japanese foreign aid donation of $50 million *meant to pave the road from Phnom Phen to the Thai Border (who can blame them really, buying SUV's are much smancier and self serving and the potholes are a killer on the bum)*, the Thai airline industry is secretly paying the government to avoid paving the road to the borders so more people fly (potholes..ouch), nobody has anything bad to say about Pol Pot, the best chef's in New York pay top dollar for fresh pepper from Kam Pot, the King is gay, the beaches are better than Thailand and the countries biggest export is cockroaches (which are shipped to France and used to make perfume).

Um, so whom ever can prove or deny the above statements wins a prize.. well not really. Maybe a nice glossy 8x10? Of me. Come on.. it'll be fun! I know you're bored silly at your job. Think of this as a learning experience people.

Moving along.. I am completely in love with Cambodia! It's more what I pictured India and East Africa to be like.. the people are incredible and so friendly (even the really corrupt shady ones, and there are a lot of 'em trying to scam us). It's dirty, it's super dusty, it smells questionable, more people fit in cars and vans than I ever thought possible, things look like they might fall apart at any second.. you get the idea. It also has the most amazingly stunning white sandy beaches lined with.. fir trees (??), the ocean is hot.. almost too warm, and the food has been fantastic (best shrimp and crab ever in life). Yes, if we know one thing it's food. I don't really know how to spell (for example I originally inserted a "p" where the "b" in crab goes.. that would have been strange if I didn't edit), suck at sentence construction and don't give two hoots about museums. But I know food... so take my word on it, despite what you've heard. The Cambodians (ha hem, the Khmer's..) can certainly cook.

Moving backwards, we have been staying with our friend Manit's family in Shihanoukville for the past few nights. Her stepfather, who is British (and I note that he hates Farang and Lonely Planet) and his Cambodian wife (we will call her Mum and him Peter). She is five months pregnant and they are the owners of the two cute boys running around playing with balloons which you will see one day if I can ever upload pictures. One is named Anthony and I can't remember the other one. For the duration of the story she is Mum, despite her being my age, only because we didn't get any other introduction. He is Peter because.. well that's his name. Mums Dad is Dad and Mums Mum is Grandmum. There is also a pig. I'm not sure if pigs have names, but I assure you he is a lucky pig. There is also a Mr. X who is a random Cambodian dude I never was introduced to and finally there were a few of Mum's brothers and sisters. Or at least I think they were related.)

Getting to the point, Grandmum made a deal with Mr. X's boss to buy her pig for $100 dollars. Mr. X's boss agreed to bring the money in three days. The three days went by and who shows up but Mr. X but with the pig and not the money. His boss no longer wants the pig because one of its toes (there is a proper name but I don't know it) is too short. Grandmum will not accept this and demands the payment per the original agreement. Mr. X refuses, Dad and the brothers steal Mr. X's motorbike and lock the gate forcing him off of the property. Mr. X then runs (on foot) to his boss who then returns with his wife, their six children and four neighbours about an hour later. Dad (who is an x Khmer Rouge and spent time in jail for war crimes and is super buff and is 60) stood defiantly in front of the stolen motorbike and Grandmum invited the entire clan to discuss their predicament. After a thirty minute round table (calm, no yelling, minimal hand gestures and sadly all conducted in Khmer so I couldn't really eavestrop) they decide that nobody wants the pig and to save face for both families it must go free (I think it was lost at this point anyway running around the town gleefully, having just narrowly escaped certain death). Grandmum accepts $70 from Mr. X's boss and the entire group leaves happy. And that my friends, is how they do business in Cambodia.

This morning we woke up, Dad drove us to the market and put us in a car with eight other people for a two hour drive to Kam Pot (four in the front and four in the back including one small girl to the left of the driver) and we made our way. Maybe she worked the breaks? No idea but this was one of the paved roads, lucky us :) Somebody (we think he was actually Mums cousin) located us at the taxi rank in Kam Pot and took us to a guest house *he got us a good deal and I'm sure it included his cut and mums cut cause that's the way it works here*. He then drove us around to buy food, check the bank (not open, it's New Years Day) and took us 40 minutes by motorbike to the beach and even taught me how to drive the damn thing. I suck at changing gears. We haven't seen another tourist in days.. and come to think of it.. I can't believe how expensive pigs are.

*The picture I blogged from has nothing to do with Cambodia it's just I can only access my blog via my Flickr account. Huh? Anyway, it's actually an alley in Hanoi, Vietnam. It happens to be my favorite picture so far and it involves an eloborate fabrication about a run in with an action movie star. My friend Peter (not the British one, the Calgary one) did an amazing edit which I will post one day when I am out of a country that denies my blog access).